Arms
by Cally Starkiller
Summary: "You put your arms around me and I'm home." The story behind the red band.


**Author's Notes: She wrote an Atton/Exile story for me, I wrote a Fenris/Hawke story for her. **

**For WolverinesDarlin'.**

**Sorry it's short. It was a small idea and a headcanon I adapted to my own. **

**inspired by Christina Perri's "Arms". **

**Read. Review. Roadkill. **

* * *

><p>Hawke looks over her shoulder every so often. It was an old habit that originated back in Lothering when she had to look out for any Templars or villagers following her back home. She sees she's almost home and sighs in relief. Hawke quickens her step and rushes through the door, slamming it shut behind her. Something stops her in her tracks..."I've been thinking about what happened with Hadriana." Fenris' gaze was directed towards the floor, afraid to look her in the eye. "I...took out my anger on you, undeservedly so. I was...not myself."<p>

She tries to resist the urge to make a joke and for once in her entire life she actually thought about what she was going to say next. "I had no idea where you went. I was concerned." It was true. No point in trying to hide what she actually felt.

"I...need to be alone." By the way his voice wavered it was clear he wasn't used to anyone being worried about him. "When I was still a slave, Hadriana was a torment. She would ridicule me, deny my meals, hound my sleep." He momentarily closed his eyes, memories flooding in. It was times like these he sometimes wished he could remember what happened before the lyrium experiment. "Because of her status I was powerless to respond. And she knew it. The thought of her slipping out of my grasp now...I couldn't let her go. I wanted to but I couldn't."

"What do you mean?"

"This hate...I thought I'd gotten away from it. But it dogs me no matter where I go. To feel it again, to know it was they who planted it inside me...it was too much to bare." Fenris was starting to turn, shoulders slumped. "But I didn't come here to burden you further."

"You don't need to leave Fenris." Hawke said in a small voice. She touches his arm and a bright glow appears out of nowhere. She feels herself being pushed forward and her back crashes into the wall behind her.

His eyebrows were scrunched up, face stern. He was ready to phase his arm through her chest until sudden realization hits him hard. His face changes, immediately apologetic. Here he was, ready to rip out her heart. He could never hurt Hawke that way. At the end of the day, his emotions were running loose and his thoughts focused on Hadriana and on how she died...

"I'm sorry..." His green eyes widen in bewilderment. It was she who apologized. "I didn't think...I guess I keep forgetting your tattoos are sensitive." Before he could correct her he was interrupted by the most intensifying sensation he ever experienced. Her lips were different from Danarius'...

"Hawke..." He struggled to say her name, his voice wavering with hesitation. "Hawke." He kept repeating himself, afraid that if he doesn't he won't be able to tell the difference between her touch and Danarius'. He needs there to be a distinction. He needs something new. He needs her to replace him. He needs this.

She pauses, head cocked to the side. "Is something wrong...?"

"No." Fenris' frown turns right side up, a small reassuring smile coming to light. He wraps his arms around her tightly, head resting on her shoulders. For a moment, just a moment, he felt **safe**. He couldn't ask for anything more.

.

.

.

He hates himself. He hates himself for leaving her. He hates himself for remembering during a time like that. He hates Danarius for invading his every thought. Why couldn't he escape this? It was all a vicious cycle that seemed to never end.

His memories from a life long ago had came back. It was disconcerting. Bright red hair, a woman he called mother, black and blue bruises, ragged black hair in his eyesight, rope burns on his wrists, quiet mumbled voices, rough cracked lips, an unimaginable pain that racked his body, his own laughter, an unfamiliar name...

"Fenris...was it?" He whirled around to face the intruder. No, not an intruder. Hawke's mother. He glanced up at her and back at Hawke's door. "Don't worry, I wasn't eavesdropping if that's what you're concerned about." A knowing smile ran across her face before she presented what was in her hand.

"What's...that?" Fenris crinkled his eyebrows, clearly confused at what was being offered.

"This was given to me by Malcolm...quite a while back. After her father died I gave it to her and told her to give it to the one she loves. However I think she's been a bit too shy to do it herself in the past so here." He blinked at the gesture, a sad smile appearing. His green eyes start to water a bit but he holds it back and lightly grabs the red band which turns out to be...

"Underwear? This is...underwear?" Fenris whipped his head up at her, even more confused.

"Oh don't worry. Nobody's worn it." She laughs once and pretends not to notice the look that was in his eyes earlier then walks back into her room.

After a moment's hesitation Fenris wraps the red underwear around his wrist tightly. It was something of a keepsake, a little thing to remind him of this night. He glances around and spots something else. The Amell shield. He quickly grabs it and dashes down the stairs, afraid he overextended his stay.

Fenris pushed his way through the door and closed it shut with a slam. With the bright moon as his guide, he starts his way back to his mansion without looking back. If he looked back...

...he'd want to be back in her arms where he truly felt **safe...**


End file.
